Success Principles

The Belief Loop: Why the Same Setback Builds Two Different People

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It’s always been astonishing to me that two people can go through the exact same setback and come out completely different. 

Both missed the promotion. Both missed the shot. Both watched something happen in their business, or their life, that could have set them back for months. Same circumstances. Same blow. One of them gets bitter.  The other gets better. The difference is never the setback.  It’s everything that happens after.

I started thinking about this a few months ago while preparing to teach a series on mental toughness to a group I lead. I was reading a book at the time on the science of success. It was explaining why people freeze up in the big moments.

While I took notes, I started relating it to my own experiences. I strung ideas together on a whiteboard. Slowly, a diagram started to take shape.

When I stepped back, I saw a clear picture of how the mind works when things go sideways, why so many fail to recognize it, and what we could do to free ourselves of the loop we keep running, the one that amplifies itself, kills belief, and causes failure.

Here’s the idea behind it. 

Kelley BremerThe Belief Loop: Why the Same Setback Builds Two Different People
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Why What We Say Matters

Would you believe that you can change your life with your words? Growing up, we learn that our words can hurt others, but no one ever told us that the opposite is true too. Our words have creative power and can be life-giving to both ourselves and to others.

Since we were young, we have been programmed to think a certain way about ourselves based on what we say or on what others have said about us – “I’m shy,” “I can’t do this,” “She is so quiet,” “He is not good at reading.” The subconscious mind cannot take a joke and will believe what we repeatedly tell it.

Neuroscientist Andrew Newberg, M.D. and therapist Mark Robert Waldman, explain that “a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.”  Positive words kick the brain into action, whereas negative words shut it down, increasing activity in the fear center of the brain.

“The longer you concentrate on positive words…functions in the parietal lobe start to change, which changes your perception of yourself and the people you interact with. A positive view of yourself will bias you toward seeing the good in others, whereas a negative self-image will include you toward suspicion and doubt. Over time, the structure of your thalamus will also change in response to your conscious words, thoughts, and feelings, and we believe that the thalamic changes affect the way in which you perceive reality.” -Dr. Newberg and Mr. Waldman

Terri Savelle Foy, author and motivational speaker, often speaks on this topic. She teaches, “Your life moves in the direction of your words!“, and “What you speak about, you bring about!”

Pastor and author, Dr. Frederick K.C. Price says it this way: “Your faith will never rise above the words of your lips.” We may not believe something could be possible, or that we are capable of it, but the more we confess it aloud, we start to believe it! And then we even believe it enough that we start to take action toward it!

Dr. Price explains that the word for “confess” in the original Greek is “Homologeo”. It comes from Homou, which means “same”, and Logos, which means “logic”. In the Bible, specifically in the New Testament, Logos is used for “Word” (note the capital “W”), as in John 1, “In the beginning was the WORD and the WORD was with God and the WORD was God…” Therefore, the Biblical word for “confess” means “saying the same thing God says.” How powerful is that?!

Kelley BremerWhy What We Say Matters
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